Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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