Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
