is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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