he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
