Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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