My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
