I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
