The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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