last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
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so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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