A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
