You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
