I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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