On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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