I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
