Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
