yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
