I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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