So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
