SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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