check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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