I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
