what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
this hospital has no fireball
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
