Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
