If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
