Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
