chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
