another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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