.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
