It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
