Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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