we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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