I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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