i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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