so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
