I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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