In the future we'll all be gay
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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