He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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