id be glad to
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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