I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
