My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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