I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
