i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
