Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
