Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
