I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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