Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no. you can't hotbox the world.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
