My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
