I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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