Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
