he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
