Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
