i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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