Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
