Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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