she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
