hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
