everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
