Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
