You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
