You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
