Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How naked do you want me to be?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
