Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
