the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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