That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
